My Name Mission
by MildlyInsane
Summary: JD goes on a mission to discover what the janitor's name is... but will he be able to figure it out? Read to find out, and please review. This is just a little 1 chapter story.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about the show Scrubs, but I wish I did.**_

_**xxxxxx**_

JD didn't know much about the janitor. Usually when JD worked with someone that long, or even had spoken to someone more than three times, he would at least know their name. The janitor, however, had a way about keeping everything in his life a secret, and if he ever happened to leak out any bit of personal information, anyone hearing it would be forced to question if it was even true, due to the janitor's habit of lying about nearly everything.

Before JD had known about the janitor's knack for lying, he had taken some of the older man's remarks as being true, but after some of the janitor's stories started to contradict each other, he wasn't so sure which, if any of the stories really happened. He figured there was really no way of determining which stories were lies and which were not, though he knew he would like to. He wanted to learn something about the janitor though, because the janitor seemed to know an unusually large sum of facts about him. Therefore, JD decided he would take today to try to learn the janitor's name.

He wasn't sure if anyone in the hospital knew what the strange man's name was. Even if he had told someone his name, what were the chances the name was even valid? He figured he would start by asking a number of people who might know, and then seeing if they all gave the same name. If anyone would know, it would be Kelso, JD thought.

JD made his way to Ted's office and knocked on the door. He would probably know where Kelso was.

"Yeah?" he heard Ted's voice, "come in..." Ted sounded very stressed, as usual, probably assuming someone had killed a patient whose family in turn would sue the hospital for all it was worth.

JD walked in, "Hi, Ted," he greeted, "Uh... do you know where Dr. Kelso is? I've got a question... and maybe you could answer it too," he added, figuring maybe Ted might know the janitor's name.

"Oh, no!" Ted began, "you didn't kill anyone did you? I thought you knew what you're doing now! Oh man... how did it happen? Is there any chance it wasn't your fault?"

JD narrowed his eyes, "No... I-"

"So it was your fault!? Oh... no!" Ted was almost yelling now, "was it at least a guy without a family? Maybe an old guy no one knows about... oh my god! Please tell me it wasn't that guy with the huge family! You know... the ones who were all visiting yesterday... Oh... it was wasn't it?"

"No! I didn't kill anyone, okay!" JD interrupted, "I was just wondering if you or Dr. Kelso know the janitor's name..."

Ted was very clearly relieved, "Oh... Oh, good... Um... no... I don't know his name, and Kelso isn't here. He went out to lunch, or to golf or something."

"Okay... Thanks anyway," JD left the office.

Who else might know his name? Perhaps he could talk to the other maintenance workers, or the cafeteria people... They didn't really like JD very much though, and honestly he was somewhat scared of them. He decided he'd ask someone else instead. Carla should know, right? She was working here with the janitor before JD was even an intern, so she would surely know his name.

JD walked up to the nurse's station, to where Carla was standing.

"Hey, Bambi," she greeted him, "I thought your shift ended already..."

"It did," JD admitted, "I'm on a mission." He hadn't thought about it until now, but doing all of this investigation made him feel kind of like a spy... and that was awesome.

Carla looked at him for a moment, "you're on a mission?" she repeated, wondering what he was talking about.

JD nodded, "Yeah... I'm going to find out the janitor's name. Do you know it?"

Carla shook her head, "no," she told him, "he once told me his name was David, but then later told me it was Walter... and once he said it was Juan... I doubt any of them are his real name... but I guess there's a chance he was telling the truth about one of them."

"Hmmm," JD thought about this. Since the janitor was a pathological liar, the chances of him having told anyone his real name were slim, "I guess I'll search elsewhere," he decided.

"Good luck," Carla called after him.

JD's next plan was to find the janitor's name tag. There was a good chance he was already wearing it, so this might be tricky. He didn't want to simply go up to him and stare at his chest. He had to be sneaky about it.

First, JD searched the halls until he found the janitor, who was seemingly just standing, doing nothing. He wondered why the janitor even showed up to work. Everyone knew he didn't really do any work most of the time. Maybe the man just didn't have anything better to do.

JD started walking down the hallway in the direction of the janitor. He decided he would just bump into him a little, "accidentally" so he would have enough time to look at his name tag without him being suspicious.

When JD bumped into the janitor slightly, the janitor turned, with his name tag in full view, "watch where you're going." he scolded, sternly. For a moment, JD forgot why he was here, and was more focused on hoping the janitor didn't kill him. After his fear nearly subsided, however, he remembered why he had put himself into this risky position.

JD quickly glanced at the janitor's name tag, and read what it said... "J-A-N-I-T-O-R"

"What?!" JD yelled out.

The janitor looked down at him, looking a bit confused.

"You're name tag says 'JANITOR' on it!" JD remarked.

"Yeah..." the janitor responded, "it always has..."

"But that's not your name!" JD whined, "Do they really let you run around the hospital with 'JANITOR' written on your name tag? I cannot believe the hospital will let you wear your name tag without your real name on it!"

"Yours says 'TURK' on it," the janitor retorted.

JD looked down... So it did... He had forgotten that he and Turk had switched name tags again.

_The patients would get so confused by this sometimes... Especially the older ones. He remembered one old lady who was quite honestly completely perplexed by the fact the picture on his name tag was of a bald black man. She didn't even think that maybe the name tag wasn't his. Instead, she had asked him if he had the same thing Micheal Jackson had, but then discredited this theory on the basis that JD's nose seemed actually bigger than the photo on his name tag, and had he had the Micheal Jackson disease, his nose would have shrunken considerably, almost to a point where it had vanished completely... Just like Micheal Jackson's nose. JD had explained to her about the role of plastic surgery in Jackson's case, and eventually had her thinking JD had gotten a nose enlargement surgery. _

JD had been remembering this instance, and when he snapped back into reality, the janitor wasn't standing beside him anymore. He supposed he had drifted off too long, and the janitor had gotten tired of waiting.

JD sighed. Maybe he would never know the janitor's name... Or maybe the janitor's name actually was "Janitor." Perhaps his mother had named him that, and the entire reason he became a janitor later was just because it was already his name. That was pretty far fetched though... Maybe the janitor didn't have a name at all! That probably wasn't right either...

JD decided to go look in the janitor's locker. Surely he had some mail or something in there that would reveal his name.

He made his way to the locker room, making sure the janitor was nowhere in sight, and then found the locker which belonged to him. It was unlocked already, fortunately and surprisingly.

As he rummaged through the locker, he found a few pieces of paper. The first was useless, as was the second, but the third looked like a pay check. The pay check would have to have his name on it. JD opened the check and read:

"_Pay to the Order of: Jan Itor."_

JD almost screamed. How could the janitor manage to get a bank account under a false name? Was there anyone in the world who knew this man's name? Why wouldn't he just use his real name? What if he was a serial killer on the run from the cops!? Maybe that's why he had to be so secretive about everything...

He could just imagine the janitor killing someone. In fact, he had the feeling all the time that the janitor might kill him one day... Maybe he should stop trying to find out his name... What if he figured it out, and then the janitor murdered him for knowing too much?

JD almost jumped out of his skin when he heard someone behind him. He spun around to see the janitor looking down at him.

"Nothing!" JD yelled out, defensively before the janitor said anything, "I wasn't doing anything! I didn't learn anything new... I don't know anything!"

"What are you talking about?" the janitor asked.

JD narrowed his eyes, "nothing... What are _you_ talking about?"

The janitor shook his head, "Did you find my pay check?" he asked.

JD looked down at the piece of paper, and then looked back up at the janitor, "is it not real?" he asked, looking back down at it. It looked real.

"No... It's real," the janitor told him.

JD's eyes grew wide, "so... is your name really 'Jan Itor?'"

"I _am_ the janitor..." the janitor told him, "you need to take a class on how to interact with people in common social situations. Just because I'm a janitor doesn't mean it's my name."

"But it says 'Jan Itor,'" JD said, holding the paper up, "how can you get a bank account under a false name?"

"Let's just say I know a guy," the janitor told him.

"No you don't..." JD argued, sounding angry, "everything you say is a lie. You don't know any _guy._ I don't know what your problem is... Maybe you're just so bored that you like to sit around all day making up lies... I think people would like you more if you'd tell them the truth more often. No one even knows your name."

"Oh... not no one," the janitor responded.

"Well, who knows it then?" JD asked, skeptically, but with the slightest bit of excitement in the possibility of learning the man's name.

"I do," the janitor told him.

JD frowned, "You know what?" he started, "I don't even care anymore... I really don't. I don't need to know your name... It's not like we are friends or anything... You're just the janitor, and until you tell me your name, I'll just think of you as that one guy who cleans stuff occasionally, but usually just does nothing!" JD turned to walk away, but the janitor stopped him.

"Hey, John!" the janitor yelled, using his first name.

"What?" JD asked, still angry.

"I think it's time I tell you my real name..." he told him, "it would mean a lot to me if we could be on a first name basis. I think we could be friends after all..."

"Really?" JD asked. This was too good to be true.

"No," the janitor responded.

JD stormed off, leaving the janitor alone, laughing in the hallway.

The janitor smiled, picked up a pen from a nearby table and took his _real_ check out of his pocket. He signed his real name on the back. It was fun messing with JD.

_**xxxxxx**_

_**Okay... I don't know if the janitor has a locker in the locker room or not... so that might not be accurate.**_

_**Anyway, I hope you liked this, and please review. :)**_


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